This makes me feel so small because it is so big!

and here’s a bit of fun, it’s a meme that can be found here on number 1’s site

1) Grab the nearest book;
2) Open it to page 56;
3) Find the fifth sentence; and,
4) Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.

Right my book is The Tent by Margaret Atwood, it’s a book of short stories and it’s the one I am reading at the moment. And the sentence is

You’re an exotic.

Right your turn now.
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You Are Spirited and Spontaneous

You are an energetic, passionate person. You are quite impulsive, and your passions tend to change with the wind. You are lively and fun. You like to stay busy with your various adventures.You are a wanderer and a traveler. You’re curious about the world, and it’s hard for you to stay still for too long. You get bored easily and tend to shirk on your responsibilities. You don’t want to grow up yet!

Be Happy

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the
Shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That’s nice”, she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upwards.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.”Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous and Help With Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous,
Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened
a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

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Ha I could be a singer

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Look at this on Sandy’s site. I was never too keen on the idea too start with.

Be Happy

Happy bonfire night and all that.

Yesterday we popped out to get some preserving jars, easy you would think wouldn’t you? Well no it’s not! After trying several shops I came home, I will try again another day, we did however come home with 14 rolls of loft insulation, buy one get one free, wayhey the loft done for £69.

Just a short one today, my face is swelling again and the pins and needles in my lips/face and tongue are driving me mad, off to the doctors Monday, before you start shouting at me! Ha Ha, I know it’s course you love me hee hee.

Be Happy

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won’t be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?

Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them! into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a
new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says “What’s the food like here?”

The lions say: “Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees.”

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This is so true we just need to remember it

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Yesterday on the news there was a lot of fuss being made over whether or not we should still be calling Christmas, Christmas, some think it should now be called winter festival. Well I think we should question the reason behind this, If it is to be changed because of multi-cultural reasons, then no it should not, if it is because as one person put it, ‘young people don’t understand what it is about’ then possibly yes it should. Then you have to go down the road of what/where did Christmas come from and I know this won’t be popular with church goers but go back far enough and the festival at the end of December is a Pagan festival which was taken over by the church to try to discourage Paganism. Paganism and Christmas What ever you think enjoy it.

Be Happy

1. Preview catalogues that say order now and get 15% off, you do and everything is sold out or they can’t get it.

2. People who park their cars so far on the pavement that you have no choice but to walk in the road.

3. Appliances that break down at the most expensive time of the year.

4. Washing powders that say removes 99% of stains then doesn’t.

5. Why do I have to buy a size 16 in one shop and a 20 in another?

6. Underwear that claims to make you inches small, no it doesn’t, it just cuts your breathing off.

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Here’s my monthly horoscope with my thoughts in red.

Your faith could be shaken around the 2nd, forcing you to pay closer attention to the facts. Don’t think it was.

 Work becomes more spiritually fulfilling on the 4th. What work?  

News from a relative or neighbour on the 5th is music to your ears. Can’t wait 

 The 8th does not favour job interviews or medical consultations; reschedule any such appointments. OOh Err

 A flirtatious conversation on the 9th has you walking on air .hahahahaha

Don’t exaggerate your abilities on the 10th or you’ll end up looking foolish. Didn’t know I had any 

The 11th favours buying electronic equipment; if you don’t know much about such things, go to the store with a savvy friend. With what?

 Imposing unfair standards on a colleague proves disastrous on the 12th . Don’t have any.

 Someone could make an exciting romantic offer around the 15th . really?

 The 16th is not good for hiring new staff; wait a few days before making a job offer. I don’t need staff, 

An affluent relative could give you money for a household purchase on the 17th. Don’t have any affluent relatives. 

 Hidden resentments toward a neighbour or relative come pouring out on the 19th. That’s a real possibilty 

Don’t talk behind a colleague’s back on the 23rd. Got none of them 

Taking an ethical stance feels good on the 24th. OK but that normaly gets me into trouble 

The object of your affection could give you a delicious compliment on the 26th .ahh sweet

 Someone who asks for an honest opinion around the 27th may not be able to handle the truth .Best not to ask me then.

 Working from home on the 29th proves productive.  Avoid getting into a verbal sparring match on the 30th.  Me? As if

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and here’s a little something to remind you how wonderful you are

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This morning I had to go to town to get more vinegar, hubby said he would take me before he went to work. Right so there we are and there is one till open with two people queuing, hubby said go self-service it will be quicker.
I scan my vinegar,
The machine says pick payment method,
I do,
The machine says do you have a nectar card if so please scan it,
I do,
The machine says pick payment method,
I do,
The machine says have you used your own bags,

I press yes

The machine says please enter number,
I do,
The machine says pick payment method,
I do
The machine says scan card,
I put my card in the machine,
The machine says unknown item on table please remove,
I do,
The machine says pick payment method,
I do,
The machine says scan card,
I do,
Nothing happens
I remove my card and try again, and again, and again.
Hubby tries,
Nothing happens,
Over walks an assistant, she tries, and tries and tries, then it starts to work.
The machine says take you card
I try, it won’t come out,
I pull very hard,
It comes out,
The machine says this machine is not working properly.

I look at hubby and say tell me how this is quicker? I like to be served by people.

Be Happy

Your Heart is Yellow and Green

Your heart is caring and generous. You are kind, understanding, and forgiving. You bring objectivity and rationality to relationships. You’re good at giving your partner freedom and space.

White Rabbit –

Jefferson Airplane

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don’t do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she’s ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you’re going to fall
Tell ‘em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small

When men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you’ve just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow
Go ask Alice
I think she’ll know

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen’s “off with her head!”
Remember what the dormouse said;
“Keep YOUR HEAD
_______________
Keep your head”

now you can sing it

Well what about that wind then? It brought down one of our fences and trashed it! So that’s the next job on the what to do list, It’s getting longer and longer, haha

Yesterday I went into the loft to start to sort out all the stuff that has piled itself up there, I don’t know how so much as sneaked up there! Haha, We sorted several bags some of which went to the tip, some topic folders which I sent to my sisters she may be able to use them and a find that made my day, but for this to make sense I will have to take you back in time, ~~~~~ (theses are wobbly lines, make the sound yourself). Many moons ago we decorated our bedroom in wall paper from Italy, it was very expensive and I loved it and still do, however a couple of places have now started to turn into snake skin, (the print is turning all bubble and shedding just like a snake). I didn’t want to pull down my lovely paper and now I don’t have too, because there in the loft sat one and a half rolls of paper, and the colour hasn’t changed so I can replace the pieces that are worn, paint the ceiling and paint work and we will have a lovely bedroom again.

My hands are a lovely shade of red; I have been pickling red cabbage this morning and hubby has just phoned to say he is bring 11lb of pickling onions home tonight, anyone for an onion?

Be Happy

This is funny

I am back, not that I have been doing anything exciting. A couple of days ago we had a call about loft and cavity wall insulation and after the usual conversation about there not being anyone over the age of 70 or anyone on befits I was told we could still have a grant and it would cost about £99. So I agreed for the surveyor to call, yes we could have the loft done for £99, but the cavity wall would be £149 because we would need new air vents, and inside of the cavity was not clean, there was mortar which had fell back from when it was built. So we have decided not to bother, we can do the loft cheaper ourselves and for lot less trouble. (We won’t have to empty it for a start).

We decided to try shopping somewhere different so went to Asda and still ended up at the Sainsbury’s because Asda hadn’t got half of what I wanted, so that was a bit of a waste of time.

I got this lovely shot of one of our little friends, yes it is real, the pot is full of nuts!

Saturday evening we went to the Arena to see Little Earthquake present ‘The Houdini Exposure’ which was quiet simply brilliant. Two stories run side by side one being the story of Houdini’s rise to fame and the death of his mother and then his death and his wife Bess’s attempts to contact him after death and the other the story of Jennifer who’s 4 year old son was killed by a speeding car when he was 4, Matthew a fake medium who develops a brain tumour only to find he can now really hear voices, and Michael a man with the mental age of a child convinced it was his fault his friend died after he got trapped in a fridge playing a game of hide and seek when they were 7. The play contains several illusions of sleight of hand, and misdirection one of which the audience take part in and another where a member of the audience takes part , and a slightly unnerving part where Michael is put inside a wheelie bin full of water and the lid locked down, for about three minutes, yes an illusion or else Gareth Nicholls is very good at holding his breath, either way it was very entertaining. If it does the rounds by you do go and see it, it’s well worth it.

Be happy

W oooooooo   Wooooooooo    HAAAAAAAAHAAAAA

OK I will stop now

A little lego at Halloween

Started the month at 12.10 and ended it at 12 8 1/2

I will write a proper blog Monday, I will really I will.

Have a good Halloween

Be Happy

I am a bit busy so here’s A story for the night just to get you on the mood.

Be happy

Another game

Look told you snow this time last year!

Yes I have just noticed that it was yesterday last year that it snowed but I really can’t be bothered to change it, all I know is we don’t have any today!

Be happy